Mario character sing Starbomb song
by iloveprincessrosalina15
Summary: Tribute to Starbomb
1. I Choose You to Die

Ch 1 I Choose You to Die

[Madison Star] Yeah, yeah, yeah, Egoraptor, Ninja Sex Party, gotta catch 'em all!

Smell my balls!

[Verse 1: Skyler Star]

Yo what up, bitch, I'mma tell you a tale

'Bout how Ash Ketchum got his ass sent to jail

Beat the Elite Four, won the tournament war

But he just couldn't get the same rush as before

Fat and depressed his life had gone south

So he turned to Pikachu and then he punched him in the Meowth

He felt so alive, he felt so real

He beat all his Pokemon, with his fists of Registeel

He got arrested for domestic violence

It was a crazy motherfuckin' Cacturne of events

He said that Pika's bruises happened on the stairs when he fell

They called some Granbullshit and threw that bitch in a cell

[Madison Star]

Rock on

This is a fucked up tale of Pokemon, gone wrong, gone wrong

That's right

This shit is tight when Egoraptor's at the mic

Bitch

[Verse 2: Skyler Star]

Ash was in trouble as soon as he arrived

He Magnemite not make it outta prison alive

His lawyer ran in with a big state trooper

Bringin' fiery news, like Charmanderson Cooper

"It's your lucky day, Pika posted your bail"

So Ash found his little friend outside of the jail

But Pikachu was different, he had mentally snapped

Ash was Chandelured into his deadly trap

Pika pulled out a gun, and then he said with a cry

"Suck a yellow dick, bro, I choose you to die"

"Don't do it!" yelled Ash "You know I've got your back"

But Pika pulled the trigger, shot him twice in the sack

[Madison Star]

Holy fuck

I don't know if you've been shot in the nuts

Spoiler: it sucks

And oh, Squirtle, gotta catch 'em all

But they might just ruin your balls

And poor Misty

Again and a Gengar she'll have Gastly screams

That Haunter dreams

But you want more

And if you don't, we'll beat your ass till it's Bulbasaur

[Skyler] Yeah! Pokemon


	2. Luigi's Ballad

[Luigi Toadstool :]

Princess Peach, won't you listen to my speech

I don't have any stars of invincibility

But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me

I'm your Luigi

[Mario Mario Star:]

What up, bitch?! I got a 1UP, bitch!

What's inside that Question Block? It's my dick!

It's-a-me a-Mario I'm more Italian than pastrami

I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami

I saved you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky

Must I be a raccoon to get inside your Tanuki?

I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen

My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean

So suck it!

[Luigi:]

Mario, you always do this shit

I like a girl and you ruin it

By yelling stuff about your dick

Until they go away

[Princess Peach Ann Toadstool:]

Hey, Luigi, it's okay

That Mario's a bit risqué

Just tell me what you need to say

Please don't be afraid!

[Luigi:]

Oh, Princess!

It means so much for me to hear you say that.

The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that- GOD DAMN IT

[Mario:]

I'm here to pleasure that ass!

I'd like to go first, Princess, but I always come last

And you say we'll get together but I'm jackin' off alone

Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only Dry Bones!

I am tired of your run-around it's such a fuckin' hassle

I go through shit and then you're in another fuckin' castle

You gotta think about it? Well I don't believe the hype

You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin' on my Warp Pipe!

[Peach:]

Oh Em Gee!

I can't decide on which of you should be the guy

To take me on a moustache ride that'll redefine my life

[Luigi + Peach:]

I'm ready to give love a shot

It's not about how many coins you got

I just know I like you a lot

[Mario:]

Yo sluts! Check out my yacht!

[Luigi:]

Ugh!

[Luigi:]

Let me take you on a magic kart ride

[Mario:]

I'll bust all yo' balloons when I smack your backside

[Luigi:]

We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along

[Mario:]

I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong

[Mario:]

Come on, Peach! It's time to make your choice!

I'm the only plumber that can make your boobies rejoice

Green lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me

It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea (nis!)

[Mario:]

So! Who's it gonna be, Princess?

[Peach:]

I choose... Toad!

[Mario + Luigi:]

TOAD?!

[Peach:]

Well his whole body's shaped like a dick.

[Mario:]

Ohhhh, mhm, yeah, definitely.

[Luigi:]

Oh, yeah, okay, mushrooms look like dicks, yeah-huh.


	3. It Dangerous To Go Alone

[Link:]

Hey

Hey

Alright

Yeah

Aww yeah

My name is Link, y'all, I'm straight outta Hyrule

Been on the force o' good since 1986, old school

I'm bringin' you a laid-back summertime jam

[Old Man Waluigi Wario Verducci:]

Hold on a minute Link!

[Link:]

Hey, what's up old man?

[Old Man:]

I see that you're embarkin' on another epic quest

You're gonna use your ocarina to rescue the princess

But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss

It's dangerous to go alone, take this

[Link:]

Oh, thanks Old Man, that is really very nice

I can always count on you for helpful, friendly advice

Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size

Oh god, that's not a sword! It's your dick in disguise

[Old Man:]

Yes, I can't lie, I have painted my schween

Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean

Wait a minute Link, don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going?

This is a great chance to fondle a scrotum that you're blowing

[Link:]

That. Was. Weird, but whatever there is no time to lose

I gotta warp on outta Zelda in this chilled out groove

Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City

This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty

I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute Junction

Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned

I gotta fix it quickly there is justice to do

[Old Man:]

Hold on a minute Link!

[Link:]

Old Man, is that you?

[Old Man:]

This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits

It's dangerous to go alone, take this

[Link:]

Well that's really kind o- D'aaah! That's your wrinkled dick again

Look, I know I wear a tunic but I'm not into men

[Old Man:]

Don't be that way bitch let me introduce you

To my three best friends Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew

If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her

So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber

[Link:]

OH MY GOD!

I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda awaits

I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late

Okay, now I really don't know where I am

[Old Man:]

Hold on a minute Link!

[Link:]

God DAMN it, Old Man!

[Old Man:]

You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss

It's dangerous to go alone, take-

[Link:]

NO!

Fuck you!

Fuck you, I'm not giving you a-

Not touching your we-

Stop the chilled out groove!

Jeez!

You come in here telling me you got a weewee weapon

It's not cool, I'm not gonna touch it, I'm not gonna splllllNO!

[Old Man:]

So is that a "No" on the handjob or...? Okay.


	4. Mega Martial Problems

Mr.L:Mega Man Zero

Madison Star:

Isabel

Shulk Witwicky: Mega Man

Madison Star:

Hello, Mega Man und Mrs. Mega Man.

Welcome to couples' therapy. I'm Dr. Wily.

Shulk Witwicky:

Dr. Wily? You're a therapist now?

But you're evil, and bent on world domination!

Madison Star:

Not anymore. Those days are behind me.

Don't question it! Shut up. Just tell me the problem over this hot beat.

Shulk Witwicky:

Okay...

Shulk Witwicky:

Well you see, Doc, I got a pretty nice life

A Mega House with two kids, and a hot Mega Wife

But I got a little problem with my android bride

When it comes to making love, she's never satisfied

Isabel Verducci:

We've been fucking for decades! Sex has gotten routine!

We gotta spice that shit up, I'm not a total machine!

I'm sick of all the romance, and the cuddles, and the love

It's time to get dirty and do all the weird stuff!

Madison Star:

It would be seeming to me that the problem here

Is you don't listen to your wife, she is being clear

Shulk Witwicky:

But she says the same thing, like a tape recorder!

Madison Star:

Quiet! The doctor is talking. There must be order!

...Sorry, I'm not evil anymore.

You must beat the Robot Masters to acquire skills

And then use them on your wife when she is getting drilled

Maybe she likes shocks from Elec Man's beam

Or getting burnt by fireballs; she's a freaky man's dream

Shulk Witwicky:

Is that what you want, hon? A Robot Master?

Isabel Verducci:

Get out and do it, you stupid bastard!

Madison Star:

Your marriage will be healthy like pure spring water

Now leave my office before you are slaughtered!

Shulk Witwicky:

Fine, I'll kick ass if it saves my marriage

For the satisfaction of my lady's undercarriage

First I'll take on Fire Man, not much of a test

Oh, your weakness is ice? I woulda never fucking guessed.

Now Ice Man is here, this shouldn't take up too much time

Oh, is your weakness fire? You just blew my fucking mind.

I cut Cut Man and he's gonna need stitches

Bomb and Elec Man just went down like little bitches

Mr.L:

Wait, you douchebag, I'm gonna end your life

I am Mega Man Zero, and I'm here to plow your wife

I bring sex moves from the future, and my skills are vast

Like my super double ultra mega nutbuster cumblast (Oh!)

Women can't resist my blonde flowing locks

I'll slap a stamp right on my package and deliver your wife the cock

My shining armor is red, the color of victory

While your fruity suit is blue, like your balls will soon be

Mr.L:

Wait! What are you doing...?

Shulk:

Mega Dick... activate!

Madison Star:

So Mega Man harnessed all the powers of the Masters

And killed Zero with his mega laser schlong-blaster

And then he banged his wife until she screamed "Yes! More!"

Then she loved him again, 'cause she's a shallow whore

Sorry, that was misogynistic.

She is a whore, though.

Shulk Witwicky:

What did you say?!

Madison Star:

Nothing!

...Douche.


	5. Rap Battle : Ryu vs Ken

Madison Catherine Star: Ryu

Isabel Haven Verducci: Ken

Ch 5 Rap Battle : Ryu vs Ken

Ryu:

Hey Ken

Ken:

What's up, Ryu?

Ryu:

You know I think you're a fucking dick right?

Ken:

Yeah?

Ryu:

Well, I think we should settle this shit once and for all with a rap battle to the death

Ken:

Okay

Ryu:

Do you think you can stop eating penis long enough to do that?

Ken:

Probably

Ryu:

Alright, let's do this!

Ryu:

Round 1! Rap!

Fuck you, Ken, you're such a little fucking bitch

I'm gonna break your fucking spine in half and throw you in a ditch

Start up a fucking beat and drop the motherfucking bass

So I can shoot a load of Hadouken all over your face

I'll break your glass jaw like it was made of fucking straw, man

Shredding you up worse than Vega fapping with his claw hand

Cammy and Chun-Li don't think you're sexy at all

They're both coming home with me, one for each of my balls

Like the bonus round car your ass is getting destroyed

My cock is more swollen than Zangief's thyroid

Your dick's three inches hard, I'm working with a soft ten

So what you got to motherfucking say to me, Ken?

Ken:

I really don't appreciate those things that you just said

I was raised to respect others, and sometimes words can be hurtful

And I just, I, I just think that maybe-

Yo, an apology is in order

Ryu:

Round 2! Rap!

It's my honest suspicion

You're gonna want a physician

Only morticians are the one to help your future condition

Cause me whooping on your ass is a time honored tradition

So now I'll do it even faster in the Turbo edition

Watch your back, bitch, I'm gonna make you scream

My dick shoots farther than the arm of Dhalsim

Just like Sagat's chest, you're gonna need a skin graft

Now, please enjoy the tart, tangy taste of my shaft

My rhymes are fat like the sumo E. Honda

I'm the king of dick jungle with my giant anaconda

Harness my Chi to beat your ass with a Dao

So what you got to motherfucking say to me now

Ken:

Alright, two can play at this game, dick-penis man

Can you lose to me in a rap battle? Shoryuken!

Ryu:

Hadouken!

Ken:

You have proven that you are the best

You have hadouken'd a giant hole in my chest

Ryu:

Hey, you did it! You rhymed on beat!

Ken:

Oh yeah, cool!

Ryu:

Great job, man! I knew you could do it

Ken:

Thank you so much, I appreciate it

Ryu:

Tatsumaki Senpukyaku!

Ken:

Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh

My scrotums


	6. Crasher-Vania

Isabel Verducci: Dracula, Wolfman, Mummy

Shulk Witwicky: Simon Belmont, Medusa

Dracula:

It was a dark and spooky Halloween night

When I, Dracula thought that I would invite

All of my freaky friends, who were there in a flash

To a big dance party - a Monster Bash!

Wolfman, Frankenstein, and Mummy were there

While Medusa fed some mice to the snakes in her hair

It was a groovy good time for a Vampire Bat

To fly out of his coffin and - wait, what was that?!

Simon:

Tis I!

Never fear, Simon Belmont is here!

To destroy evil monsters, and all you hold dear!

I will end your cruel necromancing!

Wolfman:

Actually... we were just dancing *punch* gyaaah!

Simon:

To hell, demon beast, from whence you came

You're in Castlevania, this isn't a game

Now run away, free this land of its chains

As God is my witness, I shall see you all slain!

Dracula:

Later that night, we went back to my castle

Where we could dance in peace, and also never get hassled

We had fun playing Twister on my queen-sized bed

The party was smaller 'cause Wolfman was dead!

At midnight I heard the Grim Reaper say

"I brought Guitar Hero, so who wants to play?"

It was Swampman on vocals, Nosferatu on bass

Boy, you should have seen the silly funny look on his - Oh God no!

Simon:

Tis I!

Never fear, Simon Belmont is here! (Shit!)

The power of Christ is infused in my spear!

I'll put an end to your horrible reign!

Mummy:

But we're just playing Twister!

Simon:

I rip out your brain! *crunch* (Agh!)

I will restore the glory of light

With my whip and the crystals, I'll take back the night!

Medusa:

You knocked over the chips...! *whip* Augggh!

Simon:

Sound the death knell!

Medusa you she-witch, I will see you in hell!

Dracula:

For the love of god, Simon, what the fuck is your deal?!

Simon:

You don't invite me to your parties. Do you know how that feels?

Dracula:

Are you freakin' serious? You killed all my guests! Just 'cause you felt left out?!

Simon:

No!... Yes.

Dracula:

Well, monsters like me can still be your friend

Just stop bringing our lives to a god-awful end!

Now, since we are the only ones left alive

Let's play two-man Twister! Come on, give it a try!

Both:

Alright!

*twister spin sound*

Dracula:

Right foot green-*sword slash*

Ahahughh!

Simon:

Sorry! Sorry, force of habit. Well, he is dead...

Looks like I have won at Twister!


	7. The Book of Nook

Skyler Katie Star: Tom Nook

Madison Catherine Star: Chorus

Tom Nook:

Oh, shit, let's play Animal Crossing now

Come on everybody I'll show you how

Now listen real close, I'ma tell you the sitch

Cause my name is Tom Nook and I run this bitch

Congratulations, you bought a new home

Oh, you can't afford it? I can give you a loan

You can catch some bugs till the debt's been paid

Cause you're the newest member of my slave trade

That's right motherfucker, this shit got real

I rule this crossing with my balls of steel

I also like to rule it with huge ass guns

And Timmy and Tommy, my giant mongoloid sons

Kapp'n the turtle's gonna be your new guide

Who can show you where the people who have crossed me died

So give me your bells and don't misbehave

Or I'll get Mr. Resetti to fucking dig you a grave

Chorus:

Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing is not a place you wanna fuck around

Now you're in Nook's town

Where crazy shit goes down

So sell seashells and make some bells and shut your fucking mouth

Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing, this is his land

Now taste the back of his pimp hand

His balls are brass

And he's the mayor of your fucking ass

Tom Nook:

Damn, that's right, slut

You got once choice, bow down or get cut

You better recognize the tanuki tycoon

And my thug life gang of adorable goons

My owl assassin with a little bow tie

You don't matter to Blathers, he'll make your ass die

He'll tell you 'bout insects, letters and numerals

And he'll get K.K. to fucking sing at your funeral

Kicks sells shoes and he doesn't take sass

And my boots are beautiful when I stomp your ass

Brewster serves you coffee and scones

And stabs your neck if you don't pay my loan

So sell some shit to my alpacas down south

And if you don't, I'll-pack-a my nuts in your mouth

You want in this town, you better bring some bells

Or I'll cock the glock and fucking send you to hell

Yeah!

What, you don't like my prices?

Then go somewhere else!

Oh wait, you can't; you're trapped in my town, bitch!

So go to that island, and catch some beetles, sell them to my alpacas

Your nuts are on special!


	8. Sonic's Best Pal

Princess Amber Su Yueming :Narrator, Sonic

Princess Heaven Sky: Tails

**Narrator:**  
Hey kids, would you like to hear a fun story about Sonic and Tails? (Eat a dick!)  
Great! Here we go!

Sonic the Hedgehog, hero to all  
When the world needed saving, he would answer the call  
His little friend Tails was part of the team  
But he was shitty and small, and had low self esteem  
So when they gathered all the Chaos Emeralds  
Tails stole them and put 'em under his genitals  
He pawned them all in spending spree  
For his crippling addiction to PCP

**Sonic:**  
"Come on" Sonic said, "Let's go collect rings  
And run through the meadow and jump on springs  
We'll laugh and we'll play all day and all night  
Why, your eyes are red, Tails, are you feeling alright"

**Tails:**  
Yo, fuck your rings, Sonic, it's time to get real  
I wanna kill a motherfucker just to see how it feels  
If you dare to come at me, you better come at me strong  
I'll break your sorry-ass legs if you look at me wrong  
I'm Tails the fox, you little bitch, and I'm on the attack  
My endocrine system is fucking riddled with crack  
Now I've got hallucinations that are out of control  
And I can taste colors, and I'm gonna skull fuck your soul, Yeeeeeeaaaaaah

**Sonic:**  
Hey Tails, we've got fun times in store  
What's the first thing you'd like to do today?  
**Tails:**  
Whores  
**Sonic:**  
Ha, you're funny, we'll have a great time  
There are lakes to swim in and mountains to-  
**Tails:**  
Whores

**Narrator:**  
So, Sonic and Blaze played a game of lacrosse  
While Tails slammed a bunch of sluts like a boss  
He was about to bust nuts all up in a ho  
When Robotnik showed up  
**Tails:**  
Aw hell no!  
**Narrator:**  
Tails knew he must defend the whole city  
So he stopped doing blow off the hooker's stank titties  
**Sonic:**  
Sonic said "Robotnik you gosh darn clown  
I'm gonna jump on you until you fall down"

**Tails:**  
Hey stand the fuck back, I've got a better solution  
It's time for old school, street justice death execution  
Robo-bitch, here's some motherfucking caps for your head  
Blaow blaow, now that egg-shaped cocksucker's dead  
I'm Tails the fox, do I have to fucking say it again  
I am exploding with evil that you cannot comprehend  
I just committed a murder, but there is no time to rest  
Let's get our friends over, have a giant forest fuck fest

**Narrator:**  
Sonic was too traumatized to reply  
It was the first time he'd ever seen another man die  
But it wasn't the last  
Tails made sure of that  
When he broke Big's spine and wore his ass as a hat  
Tails the fox, his mind is blown  
And he'll kick you right in your special zone  
I think I'm gonna call the cops on him  
But he will never know about it  
Oh fuck! *Gunshots*


	9. Regretroid

Ch 9 : Regretroid

[Tanooki Nick Koopa and Logan Wembley:]

There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space

And she could easily combine your stupid ass with your face

Her name was Samus Aran, and she would destroy Metroids

When she wasn't totally pissed, she was extremely annoyed

She stood up to every challenge, no matter however demanding

And her courage was amazing, and her boobies were outstanding

[Zero Suit Samus :]

WHAT?!

[Tanooki Nick Koopa:]

Uh, nothing! I was just saying that you're brave

Uh... okay... hey, look over there! It's Kraid!

[Kraid (Logan Wembley):]

I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen

You're gonna die, motherfucker, I take up five screens

I'm gonna swallow you whole, and then you'll go down easy!

Then you'll be digested and converted to feces!

I'll take off your helmet, see the fear in your eyes

And your beautiful hair, and your well-toned thighs

And your pillowy lips and... wait, you're not a guy?

[Zero Suit Samus:]

Is that a problem, you FUCK?!

[Kraid (Logan Wembley):]

Uh... no! Prepare to die!

[Tanooki Nick Koopa and Logan Wembley:]

Kraid was hesitating, but Samus was set to fight

She got into a battle stance that made her butt look super-tight

And Kraid said;

[Kraid (Logan Wembley):]

No wait, I think there has been a gigantic mistake

I actually just wanted to give you some desserts that I baked

[Tanooki Nick Koopa:]

But Samus said;

[ Zero Suit Samus:]

What pisses me off most in this world

Is when enemies get nice when they all find out I'm a girl

So do me a favor, and take your cakes and your pies

And shove them so far up your ass that they end up behind your eyes!

Stop treating me like I'm a sex object!

Mother Brain's a woman, but she gets respect!

[Mother Brain (Madison Star):]

Yeah, Kraid, you never talk to ME that way!

[Kraid (Logan Wembley):]

Oh, gosh, I wonder if it's because you're a huge, disgusting brain!

[Zero Suit Samus:]

Get the fuck off my planet, this is your last chance!

[Kraid (Logan Wembley):]

I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants

[ Zero Suit Samus:]

That's it, you're all fucking dead!

[Kraid (Logan Wembley):]

What? This room feels stuffy

By the way, do you like puppies?

Here's a basket of puppies!

[explosion sounds:]

[spoken:]

[Zero Suit Samus:]

Whoops. Killed the puppies.


	10. Kirby's Adventures In Reamland

Ch 10 : Kirby's Adventures In Reamland

[Alexia Sulkin:]

Hey, Kirby's in Dreamland, gonna eat all your shit!

Including you!

Yo, Dreamland's where it's motherfucking at

Seeing Dedede eat food cause he's motherfucking fat

There's a little pink bastard

Who's eating even faster

His name is Kirby, bitch, and he's the motherfucking master

Eats big things, spits them out with great force

So that got me thinking 'bout my dick of course

You know he's DTF, this ain't Super Smash Brothers

Kirby's banned from tournaments, for fucking all your mothers

[Shulk Witwicky:]

Ninja Sex Party and Kirby

Egoraptor, getting dirty

You got six inches, we got thirty

(Each, motherfucker!)

It's time to turn down all the lights

Make sure the mood is right

Cause we are slamming Kirby tonight

[Alexia Sulkin:]

That's right I'm fucking Kirby in the back of my car

He's transporting on my dick like it's a motherfucking Warp Star

You never see his tongue, but you better know it's there

Cause once he's got it sprung, you gotta look it up on FourSquare

Three bitches just checked up into that shit

Zelda, Peach and Lolo's girlfriend like a big banana split

Kirby's dick's a yellow fruit, just chilling in the middle

Hanging over each edge, make your Double Dees appear little

Scratch that bitch, that he's sucking on a Twinkie

Dip the cream on their lips, wipe it off with girly pinkies

Everyone satisfied when that little pink guy

Starts creeping up their thighs

But they better get in line

Cause I'm fucking Kirby tonight

And I'll never have a better night

A better night

[Meta Knight (Shulk Witwicky):]

Excuse me! Did somebody say Meta Knight?

[Alexia Sulkin:]

No! Fuck off!

[Shulk Witwicky:]

He's like a little pink potato

Sucking on balls like they're Metamatos

Screaming "Oh God" like a double rainbow

(What does it mean, motherfucker?)

It can't be wrong if it feels right

We're painting Dreamland white

Cause we are slamming Kirby tonight

Fuck yeah!


	11. The Simple Plot Of Final Fantasy 7

Ch 11 :The Simple Plot Of Final Fantasy 7

[Spoken:]

[Rosalina Lynn Star:]

Hello, and welcome to "Talking Video Games."

Today's subject is "Games with Simple Plots."

I'd like to welcome our guests.

Would each of you please say who you are, and give a brief summary of the plot of your game?

[Pac-Man :]

YES HELLO MY NAME IS PAC-MAN AND I EAT DOTS AND FRUIT

[Donkey Kong:]

My name is Donkey Kong, I throw barrels at a guy.

[Cloud :]

Hi, I'm Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII. My game's plot is pretty simple. It goes like this...

[music]

[Cloud:]

I was a mercenary working for the AVALANCHE gang

Awesome eco-terrorists who you'd probably wanna bang

I got trapped in a reactor shortly after my last raid

And got shot into a slum, where I could have gotten "squaids."

That's squirrel AIDS, for anyone who's wondering at home

Anyway, I met a girl inside the Midgar zone

Her name was Aerith and I soon became her bodyguard

She knew how to work a staff, and she made my body hard

[Rosalina Lynn Star:]

Okay Cloud, this is getting complex

So I'm gonna move on to one of our other guests -

[Cloud:]

I knew that Aerith was a Cetra

[Rosalina Lynn Star:]

...excuse me, I was singing-

[Cloud:]

She could lead us to a Promised Land where energy was springing

I went to rescue her, but I was captured and detained (Um -)

There I met Red XIII, a talking lion with a mane (Cloud -)

The president of Shinra was shot by Sephiroth

A super-evil JENOVA-style monster clone jerkoff (Hey!-)

We learned about JENOVA, got our things and then departed

[Rosalina Lynn Star:]

Wait, I'm totally confused-

[Cloud:]

I haven't even gotten started

We met Cait Sith, as well as Vincent, Cid, and Yuffie

We had gotten very tired, and my balls were kinda poofy

So Aerith let us rest, her tired ass continued on

Until Sephiroth killed her, and then she turned into a swan (What?!-)

WAIT! That didn't happen. Sorry, let me get rebooted

This is sort of where the plot gets a little convoluted

An earthquake happened, then it started snowing like December

Then some other shit went down that I don't seem to remember

[Rosalina Lynn Star:]

You're using up the whole show, Cloud, please take a rest

So let's hear from one of our many other fine guests

Q*bert, what's your game about?

[Q*bert (Madison Catherine Star):]

I jump on blocks!

[Rosalina Lynn Star:]

And you, Asteroids ship?

[Asteroids ship (Skyler Katie Star):]

I blow up rocks.

[Cloud:]

Back to my story, Sephiroth was casting spells

To make a giant Meteor, and blow Gaia to hell

[Glass Joe :]

Wait, that doesn't make sense, how on earth would you know...?

[Cloud:]

Shut your stupid French mouth

No-one asked you, Glass Joe! GOD!

[Rosalina Lynn Star:]

I'm so sorry

I'm gonna cut your story short

Your plot is way too friggin' crazy, and we've got

One more guest we need to meet

And here he is now!

[Frogger (Madison):]

Hi, my name is Frogger, and I try to cross the street!

[Cloud:]

Fuck you, Frogger!

I killed Hojo and I went to the planet's core

Sit down, Ninja Gaiden! I'm not done, you stupid whore!

We defeated Sephiroth, who was now in god-like form

And we cast a Holy spell to stop the asteroid storm

The Lifestream stopped the Meteor, the whole planet was saved

[Dig Dug (Skyler):]

After hearing that plot, I think I have to go shave

[Cloud:]

You got somethin' to say, Dig Dug?! You wanna fucking go -

wait why's this hose in my ass OH JESUS GOD NO! -

[explosion]


	12. Smash

Ch 12 : Smash

[Madison Catherine Star:]

It was a beautiful day, and everyone was excited

There was a picnic and the whole Nintendo crew was invited

Luigi stood up and said,

[Luigi :]

Listen, everyone, I love you guys

You are my best friends in the world, you make me glad to be alive!

[Announcer (Markiplier):]

Excuse me!

Hi there, I'm the announcer for a fun new family game

It's called Super Smash Brothers

[Luigi:]

That sounds nice, how do we play?

[Announcer:]

Well, first I'm gonna warp you into a world of hate and war

Where you'll assault everyone you have ever known and loved before!

[Luigi:]

I don't think I wanna do that.

[Announcer:]

Oh come on, it'll be a bash.

Now grab all your little friends, 'cause it is time for us to MOTHERFUCKING SMASH!

[Skyler Katie Star:]

Whoa-oh

[Luigi:]

Wait, no

[Skyler Katie Star:]

Let's go!

Kick the shit out of your friends!

[Luigi:]

That's not cool

[Skyler Katie Star:]

Have a blast as you beat their ass

And then they're forced to clap for you in the end! (3 2 1 SMASH!)

Mario (Hey bro!) your chode

Has been destroyed, 200% (I need that chode!)

[Luigi:]

Can't we all just get along?

[Ganondorf:]

Abso-fucking-lutely not you gotta SMASH!

[Madison Catherine Star:]

The crowd was destroyed, hundreds of bystanders dead

Kirby held Donkey Kong captive in his huge disgusting head

Fox said:

[Fox :]

Hey Mario, stop crying, just psyche up and fight instead

[Luigi:]

I'm Luigi, all these bloodstains make my overalls look red!

[Announcer:]

Sonic looked tough till Link kicked him in the stuff

The madness of cold-blooded murder'd overtaken Jigglypuff!

He blasted Bowser to infinity with one massive-ass hit

And then he took three Falcon Punches like it wasn't even shit!

[Luigi:]

Is the time almost over? I can't tell, my face is mashed.

[Announcer:]

Don't worry Luigi the clock say (Oh no) 1 SMASH!

[Skyler Katie Star:]

Whoa-oh

[Luigi:]

This blows.

[Skyler Katie Star:]

You know

When Mario and Peach team up you are screwed (You're my own BROTHER!)

Pikachu's way less fuckin' cute when he is trying to electrocute you! (Pika PIII!)

Samus (What do you want?!) is pissed

You got a small amount of dirt on her suit (Oh you're dead, bitch.)

[Luigi:]

That is the last goddamn straw...

[Announcer:]

Oh shit, I think Luigi's gonna fucking SMASH!

[Luigi:]

Hey look at me now!

I'm beating up friends

I have no regrets, this is the fucking best!

Yes I can see now

We're having fun in the end!

Now it all makes sense

[Spoken:]

I guess just because we smash each other doesn't mean we're not brothers. [punch] Aah! Mario, you suck!

[Mario :]

Bite me!


	13. Robots in Need of Disguise

Ch 13 :Robots In Need Of Disguise

[Narrator ( Madison Star):]

Rolling out motherfuckers it's the Robots in Disguise

Led by Optimus Prime, a bot whose power never dies

Cars and vans and planes, fuckin' construction trucks

They're going under cover cause Decepticons don't give a fuck.

[Optiumus:]

Autobots it's time for rolling out.

[Kid ( Isabel Verducci):]

Oh my God, that truck is Optimus without a doubt!

[Optiumus:]

Uh, no I'm not.

[Kid ( Isabel Verducci):]

Yes you are my dearest robot bro

You guys been on my lunch box since the 19 fuckin' 80's yo

[Optiumus:]

Oh balls, Autobots listen here

I think it's time to try to find another way to disappear

New disguises that our enemies can never recognize

Bumblebee become a burger! Prowl you are a side of fries!

[Bumblebee ( Pit Icarus):]

Huh?

[Optiumus:]

Do it! Don't you wanna light our darkest hour

Jazz you are a birthday cake, you got the touch I got the flour!

[Chorus ( Katelyn Diamond) :]

Autobots, roll out

Let's show them what we're all about

We'll catch'em by surprise

When we're in disguise

As a trout, flower sprouts

And a tiny Asian girl scout

Now the time has come

To rock the Decepti-scum

You better be alert

Cause we can now convert

To a skirt polo shirt

And a little mound of wet dirt

Megatron will pay

As soon as I take on the form of this delightful souffle, OK!

[Narrator ( Madison Star):]

After hours and hours of transforming into stuff

The Autobots decided on a plan that's super duper tough

[Optiumus:]

Those Decepti-dicks won't see us coming at all

When we roll up together as random kiosks at the local mall

Who'd even take to guess

That Bumblebee is selling cell phone chargers for 3 dollars less, I said

They'll never know we're here

While we're hawking beauty products making teenage acne disappear

As if they could stop Ratchet before bitch

He's combined with Ironhide to form a turkey sandwich

And I haven't even mentioned the ace that's up my sleeve

He rocks a jet engine that'll make your ears bleed

He'll betray Megatron plus he's boisterous and loud

This is your moment come on Starscream now break it down!

[Starscream ( Princess Shay Kesalawski):]

Hey, this...I'm Starscream-

[Optiumus:]

What?

[Starscream( Princess Shay Kesalawski) :]

I just...I just wanted say that Megatron you-

[Optiumus:]

Speak up man.

[Starscream( Princess Shay Kesalawski) :]

Megatron you're going down I'm gonna win.

[Optiumus:]

Spea- [Starscream giggling]

[Starscream ( Princess Shay Kesalawski) :]

I'm gonna win, I'm Starscream

[Optiumus:]

Oh, come on!

[Starscream( Princess Shay Kesalawski):]

Starscream rules [Starscream giggling]

[Optiumus:]

Alright, you know what forget it!

[Chorus ( Madison Star):]

Autobots let's fight

These enemies with all our might

Time to do what's right

And transform tonight

To 5 kites, egg whites

And a family of field mice

The Decepticons

Are now ten tanks and a giant gun

Well Grimlock's a rake

And I'm a warm milkshake

There's a small chance that we made a very tiny mistake

Well it's too late now

We're the good guys and I'm sure that everything will work out

[Optiumus:]

Megatron, you're going down- [Gunshots]

[Starscream ( Princess Shay Kesalawski) :]

Optimus I had real.. I a-

[Optiumus:]

Starscream, SHUT UP!

[Starscream ( Princess Shay Kesalawski) :]

Oh, mmm-k.


	14. The Hero Of Rhyme

Ch 14 :The Hero Of Rhyme

[Link :]

"Aw yeah

It's me, Link again, baby

That's right I'm back!

Last time I quested for Zelda I got a little off track

But now my confidence is at an all-time high

Because Navi just anointed me the 'Hero of Rhyme!'"

[Navi (Madison Star):]

"I said the 'Hero of Time!'"

[Link:]

That's right the Hero of Rhyme!

I don't need no sword or shield I'm gonna be just fine

[Navi:]

Hey, listen I think-

[Link:]

Shhh

I've got my beats and jams!

I'm taking Ganon down now

No thanks to you, Old Man!

[Old Man ( Shulk Witwicky):]

What?!

[Villager ( Blake Wembley):]

Link, thank God you're here, the countryside is terrified and shocked!

We're overrun with darknuts, peahats, leevers, gels, and octorocks!

You're our hero of the ages with a sword and helping hand!

We really need your skills!

[Link:]

Oh you need my skills?

Aw damn!

Moblins: no problem and octorocks don't know poppycock!

Gotta get that Triforce tomorrow, but first I gotta do my pop and lock!

When I see an iron knuckle imma buckle up my pants

Cuz those bitches don't fuck around when I kick on my Z-target dance!

But see, with me, I've gotta find a different way to defeat

Don't use my sword and shield but I know this flow is good enough to kill

The Hylian people rejoice: cuz your hero is the illest mothafuckin' rapper with the illest fuckin' voice!

How was that?

Those raps do anything for you?

[Villager:]

OH GOD EVERYONE IS DEAD!

[Link:]

Moving right along to Ganon's underground layer

[Villager:]

EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE!

[Link:]

Don't worry, I'm not scared

I'll save all of Hyrule with the tastiest rhymes I can spit

Now watch and learn, Navi!

[Navi:]

You're a stupid piece of shit!

[Link:]

Wanna go Ganon? Get your pig-ass over here and try me!

Just ignore the burning hellscape that's collapsing in behind me

You have never seen a rapper close to my skills whatsoever!

Oh I see you brought a giant glowing sword

That's cool, whatever

Cuz, hey!

I'm gonna be the last thing you see when you lose against me here in the ruins of the city

Yeah, ah! No bigger battle than here cuz by the time you swing your sword I'm gonna-

Oh!

Woah

Chill out!

Gotta fill out this sword was born for a partner who can, maybe, I don't know, come out and help me out in a real bout!

[Navi:]

Hey listen, link!

Your rapping doesn't stink, but Ganon's standing right there with a giant sword-

Ooooooohh

Ooooohh

Tsssss

Ooohh


	15. Toad Joins The Band

Ch 15 :Toad Joins The Band

[Luigi :] Wow, Mario! Our band is sounding great!

[Mario :] I agree, Luigi! We just need a lead singer to take our songs to the top of the charts!

[Luigi:] How about Toad?

[Mario:] Uh-yes! Hey Toad, come over here and sing to this!

[Toad ( Katelyn Diamond):] HELLO!

HI!

MARIO!

AAAAHH!

I'M TOAD!

[Luigi:] Mario, can I talk to you over here about Toad for a second, please?

[Luigi:] I am scared, I am very scared, I hate my life

[Mario:] It's was like a chicken screaming in my ears

His whole body's shaped like a dick, though...

[Both:] Oooooooohhh...

[Luigi:] Good news, Toad! You've got-a the job!

[Toad:] HELLO!

[Luigi:] Ahh!


	16. The New Pokerap

Ch 16 : The New Pokerap

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

My name is Ash Ketchum baby!

My life is back on track

But I've been in the hospital

Since Pika shot me in the sack

And I don't know all the new Pokemon

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Yo bro, I can help you with that

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

Hey Brock! I'll do all the singing

And you take care of the raps

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Alright, let's go!

Pikachu, Squirtle, Venasaur, Arcanine

Diglett, Jigglypuff, Muk

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

Oh, I know these guys!

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Asscloud, Nippleclamp, Poopypants, Dingledoodle

Ranchbreath, Turkeyburger, Beefhead, Clock

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

Woah!

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Haterade, Bubbledump, Overdraft, Headcheese

Picklefeet, Frontbutt, Softbreak, Comicwhore

Underloaf, Chairwolf, Manatease, Freebase

Nickelback, Lumbersack, Tinyhead, Door

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

A-are you serious? You're not making those up? Those are real?

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Haha! You know it bro! Gotta catch em' all!

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

Well it seems new types of Pokemon are coming out really fast!

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Oh, there are more

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

Really? Wait, I'm immediately sorry that I asked

[Brock (Logan Wembley):] We've got

Jigglystuff, Adamsapple, Frognut, Waterbottle

Candyass, Tracklighting, Pick-a-dilly, Man

Lamberguineapig, Artstudent, Tinkleburg, Flavorsaver

Trainlick, Coffeemunch, Poodlehat, Dataplan

Wondernug, Telechubby, Ravermouse, Milkstain

Yogafish, Oldperson, Freezeclump, Ponysquirt

Oilyshorts, Dad's sweater, Pop-a-squat, Hairystump

Wetsocks, Shatternut, Noodlearm, Shirt

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

They're running out of ideas and I can't take any more!

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Don't worry, there's only a couple left

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

How many?

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Uh 300,064

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

Nooo

[Brock (Logan Wembley):]

Stinkledink, Cuddlydeath, Arguement, Pillowbite

Drumsolo, ActuallySatan, Weinisfriend, Dinobooty

Santajew, Clevergirl, Straightuptoilet, Whalesnail

Fiddly-Faddly, Biddly-Baddly, Diddly-Doodly, Hiddly-Hoodly

Snaggletoosh, Poolboy, Drizzlenips, Spatalanturn

Thuma Urman, Bunch-a-nugget, Manglerubber, Catdeer

Fuglyrumph, Phlemycough, Whiskertoes, Chocolatefart

Freemburglar, Swordtank, Monkeychunk, Beer

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

Fuck it! You know what? I'm going back to the hospital

[Gun shots]

[Ash Ketchum (Blake Wembley):]

Ah! My sack, my sweet sweet sack


	17. Glass Joe's Title Fight

Ch 17 :Glass Joe's Title Fight

[Glass Joe (Wolfgang Amadeus Koopa ):] Bonjour! Hello!

My name is Glass Joe

I'm ze toughest French boxer zat you're ever gonna know

I'll score a TKO then drink a fine Bordeaux

And flatten all my opponents like croissant dough

I fight next week for ze champion belt

Mr. Sandman is tough, and I might need a little help

So I hired Doc, he once trained an elf

Named Little Mac so now, I believe in myself!

[Doc (Susan Star):] I'm Doc, ha!

This bitch is gonna die!

His overall record stands at 1 to 99

He's been hit in the head seventy-five too many times

Now he wants to fight Sandman?

Dear God, WHY?!

His head and his ass about to go through an estrangement

I think I'll start making all the funeral arrangements

I have to be responsible and tell him he can't win-

[Glass Joe:] Here's ten bucks!

[Doc:] Fuck it

Let the training begin!

[Glass Joe:] Whoa, whoa

I'll be the champion

I have the heart of a lion

[Doc:] That's really not gonna be enough

[Glass Joe:] I've got the skills

[Doc:] No, you don't

[Glass Joe:] I've got the power

[Doc:] Wrong again

[Glass Joe:] You'll never catch me

I am like the Eiffel Tower

[Doc:] That doesn't move!

[Glass Joe:] Whoa, whoa

I'll be the champion

I'm building an Arc of Triumph

[Doc:] That took, like, thirty years to build

[Glass Joe:] Got my beret

My eau de toilette

I'll break the Sandman like a stale baguette

No sweat!

[Doc:] Now it's four weeks later

And it's time for the fight

I'm sad I gotta watch a man die tonight

[Glass Joe:] Do not worry, Doc

Glass Joe is built to last!

[Doc:] You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!

Your weight training diet's all wine and cheese

You've got the body of a man with an awful disease

Your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter

And your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter

[Ding ding]

[Glass Joe:] Zere's the bell!

Zanks for your help, Doc!

[Doc:] Yeah, see you in Hell

[Glass Joe:] Zis is my moment

Vive la France

All of my training

Has led to this chance

I benched ten Q-Tips, I ran five feet

I did a half-pushup, victory will be sweet!

There's Mr. Sandman, here he comes!

But I believe in myself so I have already won!

Whoa, whoa

I'll be the Champion

I have the heart of-

Oh! Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ahh!

Whoa, whoa

I like candy corns

Please put them in my donuts

Ugh!

[Doc:] Yo, you beat the French out of him!

[Glass Joe:] I have my-

Ugh! Agh! Ough!

My favorite color is seven

Awgh!

No more peanuts for me, stewardess

Godzilla is my dad


	18. Mortal Kombat High

Ch 18 Mortal Kombat High

[Johnny Cage (Jessica Koopa):] Hey

Welcome to Mortal Kombat High School

You the new transfer student from Street Fighter High, right?

[Ken Masters (Tanooki Nick Koopa):] Yeah, I'm Ken

I like wearing red and making friends

Yay!

[Johnny:] What's up, I'm Johnny Cage

Let me show you around

I'll introduce you to the crew

And tell you how to get down

That hottie doing homework over there is Sonya Blade

She's the most popular girl in our whole entire grade

And that's Liu Kang, his kick flip helped the track team win the relay race

Maleena's sorta sexy, but she's kinda got a butter face

And over there is Raiden, he's the smartest kid in class

And this is Shang Tsung, he'll pull your spine out through your ass

[Ken:] What?

[Chorus - Tanooki Nick Koopa:]

You're in Mortal Kombat High

Where the girls are fly

And there's a pretty good chance you'll die (Like 105% baby)

That's right

It's time to test your might

So take your best friend and impale him on these spikes

[Ken:] Johnny Cage, I don't know if I'm gonna fit in at this school

[Johnny:] Hey, don't worry Ken

The students here are super chill and cool

Scorpion's romantic and he's gentle as a deer

Look, listen to the new love song he wrote

It's called, "Come Here!"

[Madison Star:] La la la la la la la la la

[Scorpion (Katelyn):] COME HERE!

[Ken:] Agh!

[Madison Star:] A la la la la la la la la la

[Scorpion:] GET OVER HERE!

[Ken:] AHHHHHH!

[Johnny:] This is Goro, he's a demon

And he really loves to kill

He's pull your nutsac up over your head

And roll you down a hill

And Kano, he is criminally insane

Oh, by the way, though

If I say so, I can make Sub-Zero crush your skull like Play-Doh

The moral is Street Fighter High can't deal with the fatalities

And if you fuck with us, your death is an eventuality

You better watch your back, 'cuz we will be watching you closely

And if you step to us, you know that ass is gettin' TOASTY!

[Chorus - Tanooki Nick Koopa:]

Yeah-eah-ah!

It's prime time for romance

And if you tell Kitana your details

She'll decapitate you with the fans

There is a chance you will not survive this dance

There are so many wondrous ways for us to kill your ass

[Johnny:] Killed at a blood transfusion! (Double Fatality!)

Stabbed while ejaculating! (Masturbatality!)

Eating too much pasta! (Carbohydratality!)

I'm having trouble peeing

That's a prostatetality!

Killed as you're conceived! (Procreatality!)

¡Muerte Español! (Translatality!)

Cut my triple axel! (Figure skatality!)

[Ken:] I like it when a girl has a nice personality!

Ahem

I'll see myself out


	19. Inky's Lament

Ch 19 :Inky's Lament

[Narrator (Madison Star):] Once upon a time in 1982

There were four young ghosts who lived under the iron fist of Pacman

[Blinky (Madison Star):] He just ate a power pellet! Run!

[Madison Star:] Oh no! He's coming!

[Inky (Skyler Star):] No! Not today, my friends

[Blinky:] Inky?! But what are you doing?!

[Inky:] I'm finally taking my stand, Blinky

Hear my words

I want to be free

Free from this maze

I am a ghost, why can't I just fly away?

The cruel yellow monster is not what he seems

These people pay a quarter but it costs us our dreams!

Oh, God!

Gonna waka waka walk away

From Pacman's tyranny

I say!

I shall taste freedom tonight!

We ride off of the side of the screen

Okay, it looks like we're back out at the first side of the screen

That's fine!

At least there are delicious cherries to eat

They're my favorite food

And are you gonna eat those too Pacman-

No that's fucking great

Gonna waka waka walk away

From these chains holding me

Hooray!

My moment of triumph comes today...

[Blinky:] Oh my God Inky watch out Pacman's right behind you!

Death has come for us all!

[Inky:] Shit!


	20. God Of No More

Ch 20 : God Of No More

[Kratos (Meowser):] I am Kratos, The Destroyer

I'm the harbringer of death

All of the Gods tremble before me

As they draw their final breath

In my first twelve games, I murdered every Lord the earth has seen

Now what immortal foes await me here in God of War 13?

[Chaires (Madison Star):] Kratos, you are power mad!

You're evil and insane!

Your killing streak was vicious

Now only us lesser Gods remain

You slayed my father, Ares

The overlord of endless war

So now you'll face me, Chaires

The overlord of Chairs and Drawers!

Let's do this!

[Chorus - Madison:]

The world's out of control (So sad, this planet gone!)

Kratos killed them all

And now we're running out of Gods

The ones that we have left...

They're not the best, but they're our last line of defense

So, here comes Spermes

The God of Busting Nuts

The Mighty Twerkeles

He is the Lord of Jiggly Butts

And no, not all is lost

We have Posoydon sacred God of Sushi Sauce

[Kratos:] ENOUGH!

Don't mock me with these weaklings

I could slay with my bare hands!

I killed the God of Love, the God of Light, and the God of One-Night Stands!

I killed the God of Tweezers, Puppets, Speedos, Footballs, Skiis, and Sand

And I even ayed-slay the ittle-lay itch-bay od-gay of Pig Latin! (slayed the little bitch God)

[Madison:] No more of these pathetic pawns

Their blood has all been spilled

We shall unleash a champion

That's worthy of your skill

Now here he is, from distant lands

Our savior so divine

[Mona:] What's up, Kratos?

I'm the God of Baked Potatoes

OW, MY SPINE!

[Chorus - Madison:]

Holy shit there's more

He's mowing through them all

There goes the God of S'mores

And also Thumbtacks, Lamps, and Balls

Just one last God remains

Who is this mystery lord?

He shall save our domain!

I am the God of That Thing Where You're Just About To Sneeze

But Then Your Friend is All "Hey, what's up?"

And You Suddenly Freeze

But Then You Still Have That Nose Tingle

It's A Horrible Tease

And You're Like "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

[Outer:]

Auughhh!

Agh, Kratos, you are such a dick!

[Kratos:] Yes, I know

It's awesome


	21. Atari Mystery Hour

Ch 21 :Atari Mystery Hour

[Announcer (Princess Amber Su Yueming):] This week on the Atari Mystery Hour, the Pong Paddle Puzzle!

[Johnson (Pauline):] Chief! Looks like we've got a murder on our hands! One of the Pong paddles is dead, and the ball is missing

[Chief (Princess Amber Su Yueming):] Alright then Johnson, round up the usual suspect

[Announcer (Princess Amber Su Yueming):] One hour later

[Chief (Princess Amber Su Yueming):] I know it was you left paddle. What do you have to say for yourself?

[Pong noise]

[Chief (Princess Amber Su Yueming):] You son of a bitch!


	22. Minecraft Is For Everyone

Ch 22 :Minecraft Is For Everyone

[Creeper (Mario Mario Star):]

Strolling, down the street, the square street

A fair sheet of square sleet below my feet

Creeper's what they call me, but even I see, that all of this beauty can fill me with such glee

Look at this tall tree, It's nature's majesty

Would it be so bad if someone BLEW THE FUCK OUT OF IT?!

This sweet pig here, alone walking around, he has the perfect face for GETTING RIPPED FROM THE INSIDE FUCKING OUT!

[Player (Logan Wembley):] Hey Mr. Creeper!

[Creeper:] WHAT?!

[Player:] There's no need for that kind of language

[Creeper:] FUCK YOU!

[Player:] The only F word is fun!

Life's even sweeter without explosions!

Minecraft is for everyone! Hurray!

Let's all be nice today, everyone is at play

And there's no need to blow them away!

[Those Two Guys (Danny Sexbang):] Oh, hi!

[Player:] Let's go help those two guys build a house and...

[BOOM]

Nope, nope, see, this is exactly what I'm talking about

If you've gotta curse, just say the word fudge, aptly no one will judge...

[BOOM]

Stop! No more exploding or cursing, no one else has to die! Okay?

[Creeper:] Fuck it, I'll try

[Player:] Okay, we're off to a bad start, but that's fine

[Creeper:] I'm on a nice kick, I'll make some friends quick!

I don't have many because everyone's a huge diii-aaauugh

I have to admit, I just might lose it, having to give up my favorite things is funking bullshrimp!

Oh man, it's hard not to be mean

[Notch (Tanooki Nick Koopa):] Hey guys, do you need any help writing lyrics?

[Creeper:] No, you don't know anything about Minecraft music!

[Notch:] But- but I'm Notch!

[Creeper:] More like NOTCH-yo song!

Oh shhhugar-snap peas I went there!

[Player:] Tee Hee! We're so happy and free!

Let's clear away the debris from all the ruined lives of your killing spree!

It's fun! To be nice to some one, they'll really love you a ton!

[Creeper:] You know what? Why don't you kneel down and kiss my creepy-

[Player:] BUNS! There's so much love and magic in rapture, hearts will be captured!

[Creeper:] Monkey Fighting Glass Bowl Mother Scratcher!

[Player:] We just learned a lesson, Creepers can make amends!

Guess what? You're my new Frie-

[BOOM]


	23. The Simple Plot of Metal Gear Solid

Ch 23 :The Simple Plot Of Metal Gear Solid

[Host (Shulk Witwicky):]

Hello, and welcome back to another episode of 'Talking Video Games'

We continue today in our series of games with simple plots

Guests, please introduce yourselves and tell us the plots of your games

[Burger Time Chef (Mario):] I'm the chef from Burger Time! I make-a the burgers!

[Centipede (Shulk Witwicky):] Hello, I'm centipede. I just kinda move down the screen

[Solid Snake (Mario):] Hey, I'm Snake from Metal Gear Solid. My game's got a pretty simple story...

[Host:] Snake, I don't see your name on the list...

[Solid Snake:] Ah, my friend Cloud Strife told me to come on this show and talk about it...

[Host:] Oh god, no...

[Solid Snake:]

It was the distant future, two thousand and five

All I wanted to do was chill out and retire

But genetically enhanced, when a case named Foxhound

Stole a bunch of nukes and had shit on lockdown

[Host:] Okay we're past our time limit, Snake!

[Solid Snake:]

Colonel Campbell said I had to infiltrate

Before they started nuclear conflicts

What a bunch of jerks!

[Host:] You're a bag of dicks

[Solid Snake:]

I climbed through an air vent and saved two guys

They shared top secrets and suddenly died

Of two heart attacks right out of thin air

All within five minutes!

[Host:] Oh my god, I don't care!

[Solid Snake:]

Then I met Meryl, a hot box of rocks

And I fought a gunslinger named Ocelot

But a cyborg ninja cut his hand away

You know, normal shit that happens every day

[Host:]

Listen Snake, there must have been a mistake

On this show you've got to get right to the point of the game

Like the ship from Galaga

[Galaga Ship (Megaman):] Hi, I shoot stuff in space

[Host:] And this car from Pole Position

[Pole Position Car ( Scarlett Witch):] I'm a car!

[Host:] That's great!

[Host:]

You know we've been through this before with your boy Cloud Strife

And he talked too long I contemplated ending my life

So let's keep things nice and simple like the hero over there

From the Atari game Adventure

[Adventure Hero:] I'm literally just a yellow square!

[Solid Snake:]

Who cares

I tried really hard to find a mech named Rex

And the ninja came back in the mix like Chex

It was Grey Fox and I fought Vulcan Raven

A big motherfuckin' Alaskan shaman

So I killed that guy but before he died

He said Meryl liked me, I almost cried

She's a little hottie pants, ooh-meow!

[Host:] It would be so great if you died right now

[Solid Snake:]

I killed Sniper Wolf who was absurdly hot

And then murdered three guys and an evil robot

'Til Liquid Snake and I were left alone

He said that I was his brother and a superior clone

Then he died of a virus and thinking fast

Meryl saved us

[Host:] I don't give a frog's fat ass

[Solid Snake:]

Then when stayed together until the seven year itch

And now you know the simple plot of Metal Gear bitch!

[Host:]

Listen Snake I've taken all I can take

Just because your game is simple doesn't mean that it's lame

Tell the kid from Paperboy

[Paperboy (Madison):] Yo, I deliver those papes!

[Host:] The guy from Elevator Action

[Elevator Action Guy (Skyler):] Uh, elevators?

[Host:] Okay!

Dear God

Why can't I just have a single panel of guests

Who can say their plots in forty fuckin' minutes or less

Now just watch me sneaker boy you'll make me reach for my gun

I'll summarize your game and show you how this shit is really motherfuckin' done!

How it's motherfuckin' done!

"You sneak around and save the world. The End."

My god, can I get a replacement guest with a simple plot please?

[Sora (Quicksilver):] Hi, I'm Sora from Kingdom Hearts!

[Host:] Nooooooooooo!


End file.
